Fish Coffee Mug
by EstelliPinKemo
Summary: Uh, I have no idea how to summarized it. That's a first. Let's just say it has something to do with a frying pan, a dynamite stick, a coin, and many coffee cups. Not really in that order. Squeefic or crackfic? You decide


**Fish Coffee Mug**

**By EppogirlXD**

**To a very special family member, whose b-day falls on today, Dec 31 (yes, she gets fireworks!), and thanks to Kukipye who gave ideas on how to humiliate my fav penguin, Skippah.**

Skipper saw a bright shiny coin on the dull HQ floor, next to the metal door, and he just had to pick it up. The coin was about the size of Private's head, so Skipper had to set his coffee mug down to grab it.

But the silver coin did NOT come up off the floor. Skipper pulled and yanked it, but the metal disk lay there stubbornly, refusing to come unstuck from the ground. It didn't even come up a bit enough so Skipper could slide his flipper under.

Suddenly, he heard British giggling nearby. "Private?" Skipper asked, scowling.

Private emerged from a concrete block still trying to stifle his giggles. In his hand was super glue. Oh great. So apparently, this was all Private's fault. Since when did Skipper fall for his tricks? Actually, since when did Private become pranky?

Skipper glared. "Private, I expect the coin to get unglued from the floor in five minutes!"

Private pouted. "But–"

"Five. Minutes." And Skipper picked up his coffee mug and turned away.

Instantly, the metal door flang (or flung) open, and almost hit him. Skipper jumped up and spilled a little fish coffee in surprise. "Whoa!" In the doorway stood Marlene, all smiley as usual.

"Marlene, why do we have the pleasure of having you over?" Skipper asked in such a accusing voice it sounded more like, _what the heck are you doing here disturbing our silence, and could you please stop barging in like that so you don't scare the spit out of me?_

"Can I please have a cup of sugar?" Marlene asked pleasantly, ignoring Skipper's tone of voice. She pulled a frying pan out of nowhere for the sugar to be poured in.

Skipper blinked at the pan. "Sorry, we don't have any sugar. But would you like some liquid chickens to go with that pan?" He snickered.

"Hey!" Marlene, annoyed with his snickering, whacked Skipper on the head with the frying pan (sounds familiar, anyone?). Apparently, she whacked too hard, because Skipper suddenly fell over unconscious. His fish coffee actually managed to land upright without spilling a bit of liquid when Skipper landed right next to the coin.

Marlene gasped, because she accidentally hit him too hard. Private gasped too, but mainly because he saw how the fish coffee cup did not spill over, which was pretty impossible.

When she finished gasping, she turned and pointed her frying pan at Private. "Don't say a word about what happened. Just get back to…whatever you were doing." She tilted her head at the little penguin, who was kneeling over the coin with a spade. Private also cocked his head and continued spading it up, not wanting to be hit by the pan either. She nudged his limp body. "Er, Skipper…wake up!"

Rico hopped by and plopped a dynamite stick in the coffee mug.

"I am awake!" Skipper suddenly jumped up and snagged up the mug, trying to regain his dignity from when he had fallen. "So where were we?"

"You were going to give me some sugar," Marlene wiggled her pan hopefully.

Skipper laughed. "Nice try, dollface, but we _really_ do not have any sugar."

Marlene groaned, while Private asked, "Why do you need sugar, anyway?"

Skipper pointed his mug at Private. "Get back to work!" Then he saw the dynamite stick inside the cup. "Rico…!" Did I mention the stick was lit?

At that moment, it exploded, throwing coffee rain and mug bits everywhere. Private and Marlene were thrown back, and Skipper had the most blackened and surprised face ever.

"But I liked that cup."

All that was left was the handle, in which he was still tightly gripping. "Oh well." He threw the handle aside and waddled to a cupboard and flang (or flung) it open. On all the shelves were rows and rows of the exact same coffee cup! "There we go." If one mug got destroyed, he would just get another one. He took at mug on one of the lower shelves, shined it, and filled it with coffee.

Marlene rolled her eyes. Apparently, the show was over. As she headed out, she started singing a random poem: "Kowalski's such a bowling pin, Skipper's so obtuse, Private is roly-poly and Rico is very loose…"

"I am not obtuse!" He yelled after her, but all he received was laughter.

**Yes, I know, very random and not my best story…at least I made up the poem. Also, from now on, I will be calling eggs, liquid chickens. Review!**


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